Obstacle Blaster

My Life Passions: To…

Teach
Inspire
Motivate
Encourage

The first time I wrote that down, I did so in the exact order as shown above. When I realized it is an acrostic that spells TIME, I got even more excited. My life passion(s) expressed in the unique way that I express them result in helping my friends redeem a lot of time that would have been wasted doing things that are mentally, emotionally and financially expensive. I save people time and I keep people from wasting it. That is something to be passionate about. How about you?

The Possum and The Big Why

By Jim Aitkins On January 17, 2013 · Add Comment · In MEANINGFUL ACCOMPLISHMENT, MINDSET, PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

I love to tell the story of the night, many years ago, I was taking a couple of young people home from a youth group activity. Tim, the teenager in the front passenger seat, lived a few miles out of town. This particular night was very dark. We were on a long straight stretch of country road when, up ahead, I could see that some kind of slow moving marsupial was crossing the road, right to left, in my lane. On top of being slow and fairly near-sighted, the opossum (colloquially, possum), is not a very intelligent animal. But here’s the thing: regardless of how ugly, slow and stupid the animal might be, I can’t stand running over any creatures that aren’t looking for – or making – any trouble for anyone. I hate it. I eased off the accelerator and silently urged the little guy to keeeep walking. “That’s right. [...]

The Dragonslayer

By Jim Aitkins On January 30, 2012 · 2 Comments · In PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, Uncategorized

I’m writing this article because I have been doing some research about a topic that fascinated me when I was a kid. The topic is dragons and dragon slayers. I know how peculiar this sounds. Please bear with me. I promise this relates to you, personally. I will explain how. First, I am going to say something even more peculiar-sounding; even absurd. My research indicates that there is too much evidence to deny that dragons are real. They actually do exist. Yes, not only did dragons exist long ago; they exist now. I have read the evidence and I will share the highlights with you. And I have also discovered that a real-life dragon slayer is actually alive today. First, the evidence… Dragons are a common feature of the folklore across all cultures, especially ancient ones. Long before it was universally accepted that dragons don’t exist, it was universally accepted that they [...]

How Many Real Friends Do You Have? – Part 1

By Jim Aitkins On January 18, 2012 · 1 Comment · In PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

This article is about clearing away three big obstacles that stand in the way of having the kind of relationships we all really want to have. The desire to be loved. Relationship. It’s a universal need. Unfortunately, it seems we’ve all been hurt in one way or another, some of us more than others. And yet, the desire to have that which seems to be so elusive to so many never seems to diminish. Click HERE to for a free listen to a new song written and performed by Swedish artist Lisa Miskovsky. The song is titled “We Want to Be Loved,” and it’s about a girl whose mother keeps getting stuck in bad relationships. Some of the lyrics below… We Want To Be Loved If they knew how much I’ve heard When they thought I was asleep I’ve seen my mother try to hide her tears When I [...]

The Case Against Goals – #4

By Jim Aitkins On November 21, 2011 · 2 Comments · In PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Goals Aren’t Fluid, But Life Is – Part 1 In the delightful movie Tangled, Disney’s recent animated retelling of the classic tale of Rapunzel – about the girl with the magical and beautiful uncut hair – there’s a scene where Rapunzel is sharing a quandary with her new friend, Eugene. First, the lead-up… Every year, on the night of Rapunzel’s birthday, she has observed from her bedroom window mesmerizing floating lights in the sky. She doesn’t know where the lights come from and has never known why they appear each year on the same night. Rapunzel has never been able to know these things because she has lived as a captive of the woman claiming to be her mother. Never allowed to leave the confines of the tower in which Rapunzel has lived all of her life, she constantly wonders about the outside world and wishes she could solve the [...]

Forgiveness Q & A – If This Person Could, Then You Can – Part 2

By Jim Aitkins On November 7, 2011 · 2 Comments · In PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Forgiving a Monster This, like Part 1, has the Q & A in inverse. In other words, I’ll ask the question and you provide the answer. First, another true story. Friends, I’d like to introduce you to a friend of humanity, Eva Mozes Kor (pictured to the right), the Auschwitz survivor who sparked a controversy in 1995 when she publicly forgave the Nazis for their genocidal crimes. As a little girl at Auschwitz, Eva Mozes saw and experienced horrific things. Within less than a minute of their arrival at the most infamous death camp, she and her twin sister were separated from their parents. They never saw their parents again. As twins, they were considered ideal test subjects for the most grotesque and perverse experiments the Nazi “researchers” could imagine. Her entire story can be seen in the documentary film Forgiving Dr. Mengele. I’m hoping you see the film, so [...]

There’s No Such Thing as Balance – Part 4

By Jim Aitkins On December 2, 2013 · Add Comment · In MEANINGFUL ACCOMPLISHMENT, MINDSET, PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, WORKPLACE SUCCESS

We seek balance and a greater degree of control as if balance and/or control are missing ingredients to achieving happiness and peace of mind. They aren’t. As discussed in the previous installments, the missing ingredient is not working harder and striving more. That is what some experts call flailing. The missing ingredient is a more clear awareness of the first of two things outlined in Part 1: knowing your priorities. Unfortunately, we usually busy ourselves with what we fool ourselves into thinking is vitally important without establishing and maintaining a laser-like awareness of our priorities. In other words, we get busy doing (remember, the action of doing is the second item) without first knowing exactly what we ought to be doing. The secret really is first things first. Having a clear picture of what needs to get done and why it needs to get done seems so elementary, but rare [...]

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 3

By Jim Aitkins On July 26, 2013 · 1 Comment · In PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

When we were last together, I said that you and I spend the majority of our time and energy focused on our priorities. I probably should have put quote marks around the word “priorities” (like I did just now). That is because our self-talk is very persuasive and we can justify pretty much any behavior we are engaging in as being the most important thing to be doing at any given moment. Whether or not your various activities really reflect your life’s true priorities is only for you to determine. Obviously, it comes from knowing – really knowing – what your life’s priorities really are. Whether or not we consciously know what our priorities are at any given moment, we nonetheless live our priorities. Our priorities are revealed by where we devote the majority of our time and energy. This takes us back to those who suffer the tyranny of [...]

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 2

By Jim Aitkins On July 11, 2013 · 2 Comments · In PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

If you ever feel like you need more balance in your life, you could be on the lighter end of the “chaos continuum” where your life seems to be a little off kilter… … or you could be on the other end of the continuum because you are in a season of your life where you simply have to give an enormous amount of time and attention to one particular situation (people taking care of an ailing family member would be a good example)… … or you are somewhere in the middle. Whatever the specifics happen to be for you and your circumstances, one common thread among most people who feel “out of balance”: a vague, lingering guilt. Guilt that I am working too much and not spending a suitable amount of time with family Guilt that I am not working enough to make enough money for current and/or future [...]

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 1

By Jim Aitkins On July 9, 2013 · 1 Comment · In PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Many people who are obsessive-compulsive say that they are constantly striving for the perfect state, whatever that is. It is not surprising that those same people say that they are almost never satisfied. One’s hands can never be germ-free enough. One’s counter tops can never be clean enough. Something is always not quite right. The OCD sufferer never seems to be able to obtain the fulfillment and completeness and rightness they are striving for. It is so elusive because it isn’t there. Those who say they are looking for balance in their life are similarly asking for trouble. When we say we need balance, I believe we really mean something else. We are really longing for something more specific. Yes, we need to feel settled. But, more than that, we need to feel like we matter and that what we’re doing in life is significant in some way. Let’s add [...]

Gossip can be like a virus. It reveals poor character, causes pain and leads to damaged and destroyed relationships.
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Pictured here is one of my favorite works by Norman Rockwell. Rockwell’s iconic paintings were featured on the covers of the Saturday Evening Post; a staggering 322 covers over a period of 47 years.
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“How would your life be different if… you walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day… you speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Integrity Appears Out of the Unseen – Gossip Part 2

By Jim Aitkins On May 2, 2013 · 1 Comment · In BETTER RELATIONSHIPS, PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, WORKPLACE SUCCESS

We are right to feel horrible about ourselves when we’ve participated in gossip. In a figurative sense, we’ve thrown a rock through the living room window of the person we are talking about. We’ve spray-painted a vulgar message on their garage. We have harmed that person’s reputation by abiding the spread of information that they probably would not go out of their way to convey to you themselves. The potential harm we do to others when we gossip and/or listen to it is a big enough reason to avoid it like a dangling live 90,000-volt electrical wire. But let us consider the harm you do to yourself when you talk about people who are not in attendance. When I gossip to Larry about Rick … I am telling Larry that this is what I do. I talk about others when they are not around. I am telling Larry that it [...]

Other than the person being gossiped about, is anyone else harmed?

Integrity Appears Out of the Unseen – Gossip Part 1

On April 24, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

Gossip. No one notices you not doing it. But is it possible that people see something else when you choose not to engage in gossip? I think so. However, whenever I teach on this topic, at least one person in the audience later tells me they had never realized how powerfully wrong it is to gossip. So, before we talk about what people see when we don’t gossip, we will start by looking at what others see and learn when we choose to gossip. Brian P. Cleary wrote, in You Oughta Know By Now, the following tongue-in-cheek pronouncement: “It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).” Of course, that is nonsense. Have you ever left a conversation feeling a little sad and even dirty? If the topic of conversation involved something [...]

When a Barrier Is Not an Obstacle – Part 3

On March 30, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

The addition of sound-absorbing curtains in the dining room at Salty’s, a popular out-of-the-way waterfront restaurant near Federal Way, Washington, has been popular with both Salty’s guests and the staff. The curtains were put in place to deal with an obstacle. The obstacle: booking groups was not happening as much as they wanted because the restaurant offered no “special” space, no banquet facilities or dining area that afforded at least a little more privacy and less of the hullabaloo associated with the din of a bustling popular destination restaurant.“We chose the curtains rather than walls,” says General Manager Terianne Broyles, “to maximize our space and waterfront view when not sold as a private event.” Very smart. There are two great life lessons we can apply from the stroke of marketing (and pragmatic) genius described here.First, group or no group, if you live in the Puget Sound area (or greater Portland, [...]

When a Barrier Is Not an Obstacle – Part 2

On March 30, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

Salty’s at Redondo, a popular waterfront restaurant in a small beach community between Seattle and Tacoma, Washington, created dining/meeting space for private groups by simply installing heavy curtains in the dining room that can enclose enough space for groups. As I said previously, I went to the management at Salty’s to ask for comments about how it has worked out for them. Glancing over at Derrick Griffin, the establishment’s Operations Manager, General Manager Terianne Broyles said, “I will defer to Derrick about the economic impact of this for us. I like the fact that the curtains add a sound barrier and a perfect amount of space that doesn’t interfere with other guests for the many events the property hosts throughout the year; brew master dinners and cocktail classes to name just two.” Speaking of Operations Manager Derrick Griffin, he is smiling a lot these days as well, adding that, “the [...]

When a Barrier Is Not an Obstacle – Part 1

On March 30, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

If any part of what you are about to read seems like a commercial, it is not intended as such. I was not paid or compensated in any way to procure my endorsement of the restaurant discussed. I just love what this particular establishment has done. There happens to be a great application for us in our individual lives and I want everyone to know about it. In the process, I don’t mind promoting this great place to enjoy a wonderful meal with special people because it is, well, a great place to enjoy a wonderful meal with special people! In this three-part article, we will discuss the importance of making time and space something special, no matter when and where. Obstacle Blaster readers know that I like to interview and write about successful entrepreneurs and businesses. It is almost always useful to look at the human and pecuniary obstacles [...]

“… you are rising above the circumstances and putting yourself in a position of being able to see the bigger picture of life, you will see new and better opportunities that miserable people don’t see, and you will attract the kind of quality relationships with quality people you might never have imagined.”

Moving Up Versus Moving On

On March 15, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

A powerful little phrase came to me during a recent coaching session. I was working with a person who is coping with a great deal of pain involving the choices of her significant other. In talking about her life and the troubled state of the relationship, she kept saying that her friends are telling her that it is time for her to move on. Obstacle Blaster readers know that I am more about personal development than dispensing relationship advice. Of course, the two often look the same… not unlike the way that a middle-aged guy being cautioned not to buy a garishly accessorized sports car might think he is being given financial advice. Related, but not the same. As the term implies, personal development is about the person, not relationships. That being said, relationships tend to work better when the outlook of the people involved is as healthy and whole [...]

Kids Know How to Succeed

On February 28, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

Spend enough time around little children and you will see them misperceive something they have heard or been taught. Sometimes it is pretty funny. A few examples … Example #1 A nativity play performed by seven-year-olds. The young actors are positioned for the iconic gathering around the manger. The first Wise Man steps forward with a small ornate box and says, “This is a gift of gold.” The second Wise Man steps forward and says, “This is a gift of merrrr.” He then loudly whispers that it is really good-smelling, expensive oil. The audience snickers. The third Wise Man steps forward and says, “Frank sent this.” Louder snickers, this time with a smattering of applause. ———- Example #2 The child was a typical four-year-old girl – cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his [...]

The Present is a Gift – Part 4

On February 15, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

Grady smiled and put his hands up. “That’s all I have to say. Let’s have a good time tonight!” He started putting the microphone down while his colleagues applauded and cheered. Then someone yelled, “What’s in the boxes?” Grady rolled his eyes as if to say ‘Where is my head?’ “Thank you! I almost forgot about that. I have been looking forward to this for weeks. Please pass those around. Everyone gets one.” The packages, all marked “FedEx Ground”, were given to everyone in the room, including spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends and even the six children who were there. Generally, everyone waited to open these mystery boxes until all of them had been passed around. The curiosity was palpable. While Grady had been speaking, the two FedEx employees who had carted the boxes into the room had discreetly been preparing to pass them out. They had sliced the heavy tape along [...]

Rosa Parks and the Positive Power of Intolerance

On February 9, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

UNESCO is an agency of the United Nations. It was formed to “promote the exchange of information, ideas, and culture.” Sounds good, right? Go online to learn more about UNESCO and you will find out that in 1984 the US withdrew as a member of that body to “protest its growing politicization, anti-Western bias, rampant mismanagement, and advocacy of policies that undermine freedom of the press and free markets.”Fast forward to November 16, 1995, the day of its fiftieth anniversary. On that day UNESCO’s Member States provided another reason for those who advocate for clear thinking and sanity to have nothing to do with UNESCO. That was the day member states adopted a Declaration of Principles on Tolerance. Among other things, the Declaration affirmed that tolerance is “neither indulgence nor indifference. It is respect and appreciation of the rich variety of our world’s cultures, our forms of expression and ways [...]

Planes and Ships and You – Influence Made Easy

On January 23, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

The sound of tires spinning on ice preceded my alarm by five minutes. Outside, about a hundred yards from my bedroom window, my neighbor was unable to fully back his BMW out onto the street. Once he backed a few feet onto the road, the car started sliding backward on the pavement’s slight decline. At this point he applied his brakes to keep from sliding any further backward into a car parked on the street behind him. His sedan had not gone far enough back to be able to turn hard left and clear his mailbox to then make his way down the street. So now his rear tires spinning, he was unable to get himself back into the safety of his own driveway. He was stuck. I quickly donned a t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of rubber-soled loafers. And I grabbed a pair of gloves as I hurried out without a coat, figuring this [...]

Free from Independence – Part 2

On January 16, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

Freedom isn’t free. It is a struggle. But we all, especially those of us that bristle at the idea of someone else controlling us, need to be clear about what we are fighting in favor of and what exactly it is that we are resisting. From the age of about eight, most of us were skilled enough and self-reliant enough to start thinking and behaving as though we don’t need anyone. That was about the time we started to assert ourselves and to act as though those that speak into our lives are to be resisted. Real maturity involves gaining freedom from a sense of being entitled to independence. It is moving from valuing to independence to valuing interdependence. Real maturity is being willing to explore what it is to be interdependent throughout life, including, but not limited to, romantic relationships. In fact, this is so especially when it comes [...]

Free from Independence – Part 1

On January 15, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

Have you seen the bumper sticker that says “Freedom Isn’t Free”? Mankind was into independence long before Americans fought for it in the Revolutionary War.So strong is our desire to be independent, many of us struggle for it for most of our lives. Teenagers slam doors. College students protest. Couples often argue about issues that one or the other, or both, might label as “control”. The mutual refrain: “You keep trying to control me!” But if we stop to think about it, if we take the notion of independence to the logical extreme, we find that independence isn’t at all what we really want. Freedom from control or being dominated? Sure. But do individuals – or even nations – really want to be independent? No way. As an individual, total independence means that if I want fruits and veggies, I must farm my own piece of land. If I want [...]

Picture How This Photographer Shoots For Success – PART 3

On January 8, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

My interview with Corey Schatz of DigiShotz of Lakewood, Washington continues. Jim: One final question. How have you been able to overcome various obstacles in your life, especially in your business, toward greater success? Corey: That’s easy. Knowing my “big why” fuels a huge passion for what I do. When I realized that my talent is also my passion, creating the best experience for my clients became my total focus. That explains why I have invested so much in this facility and keeping pace with the state-of-the-art. Taking the best pictures and presenting my subjects in the best way possible is my “big why.” When you know why you are doing what you are doing, it gives you drive and passion and turns obstacles in your way into tiny distractions that are easier to overcome. I call it “mental momentum.” So, to my comrades in photography and small business I [...]

The Present is a Gift – Part 3

On January 5, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

The Present is a Gift – Part 2

On January 4, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

Grady’s Speech An unspoken curiosity inspired a high turnout for this year’s holiday gala and the hushed tones of some of the conversations underscored an air of anticipation of what would happen. No one but the brothers had seen Grady since his heart attack and recovery. This is to say no one but the brothers had visited him in the hospital. About a dozen people had signed the card that accompanied the bouquet from the company. That was it. T.R. Grady was not a popular guy because he had been such a jerk to literally everyone he worked with, for years. But hearing that he had experienced a dramatic transformation of some kind created something comparable to the reason people watch a fireworks display and the reason millions of people watch and share stirring and inspiring You Tube videos.We all want to be inspired. So, we show up when and [...]

Picture How This Photographer Shoots For Success – PART 2

On January 3, 2013 By Jim Aitkins

My interview with Corey Schatz of DigiShotz of Lakewood, Washington continues. Jim: So, as a professional photographer, what problem would you say you are you solving for your clients? What obstacles do you help people overcome? Corey: Everyone wants to be seen, literally, in the best light. That one day when your hair was just right, your clothes fit perfectly, and no blemishes. Reality dictates that the “just right” day never seems to happen on picture day. So we use our tools to make sure our client gets a product that shows them on their best day. A good photographic presentation, or representation, can really make a difference in terms of confidence. Jim: You were a psychology major at the University of Washington. It sounds like that comes in handy. Is that an unexpected part of what you do? Corey: Definitely. At first I thought I would do photography [...]

Picture How This Photographer Shoots For Success – PART 1

On December 29, 2012 By Jim Aitkins

We are all in the business of helping others solve problems. The Madison Avenue media machine uses the tool of digital photography to bombard us with the glossy results of this advanced technology. It includes touched and re-touched breasts (yes, I just wrote that), eyes that look brighter and younger, and bodies that look more toned than they really are. And hair. Perfect hair. We have all been there, standing in the checkout line at the grocery store. Our eyes seem to have a mind of their own. We don’t want to look, but we do. Our gaze wanders from headline to headline, heralding the latest celebrity gossip. And as we scan from cover shot to cover shot, we often ask ourselves the same question: “Are those real?” We know the cover pictures and the ads are put in front of us to engage our senses, ultimately, in order to [...]

The Present is a Gift – Part 1

On December 25, 2012 By Jim Aitkins

A FICTIONAL SHORT STORY All the rumors about Grady were true. He really was horrible. He used to be disliked by everyone in the company, except the owners. The three brothers who shared ownership of the rural insurance brokerage – each managing one of the company’s three offices – liked and appreciated T.R. Grady for just one reason: he was a producer. T.R. (Thomas-Robert has answered to his last name, or just “T.R.”, since high school) sold more property/casualty and life & health insurance than any of the other eight salespeople across all of the enterprise’s three locations. In fact, some months he sold more policies than all the others, combined. Then literally everything changed. This autumn T.R. had a near-fatal heart attack and, while recovering from bypass surgery, he was unseen for six weeks, including the twelve days he spent in the hospital. One day during week three of [...]

Put It Down – Part 3

On December 22, 2012 By Jim Aitkins

Painful childhood events are among the things we can understand people taking, well, personally. But events like World War II, the Great Depression and other such things can similarly leave a lifelong mark. When I was a boy, two or three days a week during the spring and summer months I rode my bike down the hill from where we lived and did yard work for an elderly couple; the Carlson’s. Oscar and Agnes Carlson immigrated to America from Sweden during the Great Depression. The scarcity of the 1930’s made a deep impact upon the couple. While Agnes was not a hoarder, she definitely made it clear that we must not waste. Through her, the economy of the 1930’s made an impact on me! To this day, I’m a pretty dedicated consumer of leftovers. My overarching point here is that we need to take the time to look inward and [...]

Getting Sucked In To Office Politics at Work; How Not To

On December 18, 2012 By Jim Aitkins

Invitations. That’s all we’re talking about. As we go about our daily lives, relating with others, we are – all of us – constantly sending and receiving invitations. A controversial remark is often an invitation to argue, A status update on Facebook that says, “I am very sad today… ” is an invitation to others to write an encouraging comment, Every attention-getting Tweet is an invitation to follow the Tweeter, And every instance of workplace positioning, back-biting and triangulating is an invitation to everyone who is “touched” by it to participate in it at some level “Getting sucked in” is merely another way of noting that one or more invitations have been sent and received. However, unlike when a wedding announcement comes, and includes a post-paid RSVP that you can choose to return with an acceptance or a decline, the phrase “getting sucked in” suggests a certain powerlessness as though [...]

The Possum and The Big Why

The Dragonslayer

How Many Real Friends Do You Have? – Part 1

The Case Against Goals – #4

Forgiveness Q & A – If This Person Could, Then You Can – Part 2

There’s No Such Thing as Balance – Part 4

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 3

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 2

There’s No Such Thing As Balance – Part 1

Integrity Appears Out of the Unseen – Gossip Part 2

Integrity Appears Out of the Unseen – Gossip Part 1

When a Barrier Is Not an Obstacle – Part 3

When a Barrier Is Not an Obstacle – Part 2

When a Barrier Is Not an Obstacle – Part 1

Moving Up Versus Moving On

Kids Know How to Succeed

The Present is a Gift – Part 4

Rosa Parks and the Positive Power of Intolerance

Planes and Ships and You – Influence Made Easy

Free from Independence – Part 2

Free from Independence – Part 1

Picture How This Photographer Shoots For Success – PART 3

The Present is a Gift – Part 3

The Present is a Gift – Part 2

Picture How This Photographer Shoots For Success – PART 2

Picture How This Photographer Shoots For Success – PART 1

The Present is a Gift – Part 1

Put It Down – Part 3

Getting Sucked In To Office Politics at Work; How Not To

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